September 11, 2016
Several years ago, I took the
confirmation class I was teaching to a worship service at an evangelical
mega-church. I wanted to give the
students the opportunity to experience of the breadth of worship styles in the Christian Church and give them
something obviously very different than Episcopal worship had grown up on —
they found music centered not around the organ and choir, but rather a
Christian rock band. Worship was centered
not around sacrament of Holy Eucharist-but worship centered around the Word and the
sermon—that the senior pastor gave.
The sermon that day was about sin
and at one point and the pastor kept alluding to something he was struggling
with—but he never gave it up--never disclosed the real struggle he was having.
I remember thinking—he just missed
this great opportunity to connect with his congregation—to show that he’s not
superman—that he does struggle with the same stuff that his congregation
struggles with.
Today I am going to going to self
disclose a-bit. You will see that I put my pants on one leg at time- and
struggle with some of the same things you all struggle with.
This week, I found myself floundering a bit in this
transition and I didn’t expect it. Not
what you wanted to probably hear today.
Let me preface what I am about to
say by saying -I am 100% certain that God has called me to this ministry—I am
over the moon excited to be here and excited about our future together.
Yet I still figuring out just who
and what I am supposed to be in parish.
Yes I know I am to show up at 10 o’clock on Sunday— to preach a sermon—
to stand over there and put my hands up an offer prayers—I know that I am
supposed to come visit you in the hospital I know that—to perform weddings,
funerals and baptisms—but beyond that I
am still figuring out who and what I am to be in this system I am still
figuring who does what and how does that get done— I wonder what is our future going to like--there
are some big questions that are facing our congregation about things like what
our mission in Haiti is going to look like-and we have some discernment to do
around our Sunday School program-what is the future there-- and this week
it all seemed just a little bit
discorienting.
I’m also still mourning my ministry
at St. Mark’s and letting go of so many wonderful friend and letting go of the
wonderful work that I was doing there.
And then on top of that here comes
September 11th and all of the emotions that well up around that—it
still makes me sad —so many bright and shining stars taken from us way too
early--- So this week I feel a little bit lost.
I am sure that I am not the only
one who is feeling this way given what today is.
I know we now have some empty
nesters who kids have finally left for new adventures and you are trying to
figure what life is like now that you don’t have to cart kids to this practice
or that event.
I know there are some that are dealing with
disorienting health issues—that mean life changing adjustments and figuring that
all. There is some loss there for you.
I know just my presence here and
yet another priest-8 priest in 11 years—starting something new—yes exciting-
but I am sure a little bit of
uncertainty.
I have to tell you that when I read the Gospel for this week –wow
–how appropriate for where I am and where we are this week and today –A gospel
speaking about God’s response when people are lost. Jesus tells two stories one about a shepherd
who has lost a sheep—who leaves the 99 sheep to go after his one lost sheep and the other about a woman who searches for a
lost coin. Both search high and low to find that most precious item.
And I read and re-read—I kept
hoping I could find an answer to the loss I was feeling—I wanted this sermon to
be a sermon—that said this is how you can get found—that just waive this magic
wand—just get down on your knees and utter this prayer—and God will find you
and everything will be alright. I wanted to stand here in this pulpit and say
do this and that sense of loss in the pit of your stomach will go away and
everything is going to be alright.
But I didn’t find anything like
that this week—The best I have to offer is that in the midst of loss we can
again turn our lives toward God and then we may to wait. Perhaps all we can do when lost is cling to
what Jesus says in these two parables that
we are so precious to God that when we get lost —God is not sitting on his
throne in some distant corner of the universe uncaring -—but God has gotten the
blood hounds out and that he is anxiously turning over every stone to find us.
We
simply grasp tightly to our faith believing what Jesus tells us that God is-
most active and God is doing his best work to find us when we are lost.
Today folks we may feel a bit lost
and it may seem overwhelming and we may be so sick and tired—but know that God
cares, know that the scriptures tell us that God cares—so be patient turn again
toward for --- God is looking for us and when he finds us the angels will rejoice
and there will be amazing grace.
AMEN
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